just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize