the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize