I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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