New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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