The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize