We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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