Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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