Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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