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but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Randomize
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