I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
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Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
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You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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