The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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