She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize