Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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