Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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