that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize