I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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