do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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