There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
where does the pee come out of this thing
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize