alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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