I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
