You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
