you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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