I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize