I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize