and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize