when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
smell my finger.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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