haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Semen is not good for contacts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize