Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
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