I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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