thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize