You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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