i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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