he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize