you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
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Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
then he tried to convert me to islam
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
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Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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