nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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