you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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