You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize