She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize