Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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