I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize