I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My breasts were aching with rage.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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