I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize