She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize