I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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