the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize