it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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