you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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