yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
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I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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