If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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