we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize