I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
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