she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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