god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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