so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize